I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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