just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
