Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
