he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
