oh god the rape fog is back!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
