youre lurking in front of me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
