nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize