i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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