just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
