Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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