I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
