is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
