So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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