His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
