She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
