Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
