i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
