Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
