covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
