i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
BRING THE BAGELS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize