I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
