The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
