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You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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