Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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