you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
