Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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