I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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