Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
false alarm. still invincible.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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