tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize