one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
