oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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