defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
