Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nicole vs. Life
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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