I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
