try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
