I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
