If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
