Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
