Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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