CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
