its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize