Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
