Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
