don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize