that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
