how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
