maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
