Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
