apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
