what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
