id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize