Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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