Sry I called you an 8
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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