everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
