Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
