now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
