You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize