Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
