ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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