He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
