oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
