Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
