why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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