I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
