I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do vagina's smell?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
